The Fighting Cats & The Monkeys

Long long ago, there was a cat kingdom. The peaceful society owed their genesis to a group of cats, fed up of being chased by dogs, hyenas and jackals of the jungles. So they chose a nice hilltop that provided them safety from wild carnivores. They could leave their young under the careful watch of a few muscled cats, to foray in the jungle for rodents, rabbits, shrews, moles, birds, insects, reptiles, amphibians, fish etc for feeding their young and themselves.

Over the years, the tribe swelled and made progress by leaps and bounds. A nice little fort was built around the hill and some civets, lynxes and pumas also begged to join the fraternity after seeing the safety of the cat kingdom.  Some enterprising felines opened businesses for selling rat traps and milk that they stole from the nearby human habitation. An added attraction was a beauty parlor that some Siamese cats had opened.  Soon there were cafeterias and bakeries.

Not very far behind came the catcalls and catfights. It started with a catty comment from Mrs Lynx in respect of Mrs Civet looking a little too foxy.  Smiling like a Cheshire cat, Mrs Civet called Mrs Lynx a fat cat. Mrs Lynx jumped as a cat on the hot tin roof and raised hell. The fight went on till someone called the city council chairman, Mr Puma.

Mr Puma made a wrong start by mentioning that lynxes are known to be hot tempered, and that started a class war between various cat fraternities. For days on, there were fights between Lynxes and Civets, Lynxes and wildcats and so on. . Then after having been bruised badly, the cats decided to get a neutral umpire to settle the fight between the various races and sections of the cat society.

Initially they thought of calling another cat family. Panthers and tigers were mentioned, but then everyone backed out because the large cats will be more interested in solving their own hunger problems with so many cats available for easy meals. So they agreed to call a clutch of monkeys.

Three monkey leaders arrived. On the way the monkeys were astounded by the opulence and the progress of the cat kingdom. The three kept looking at each other with a single thought on their minds. How to take it all away, for their families and friends?

The eldest monkey started by introducing himself. He said that his grandfather had fought for the rights of the grass eating animals a century back. So he understands the issues of equality and animal rights. And that he is the best authority on the ‘Law of the jungle”, which he said is frequently used by even human beings in the lands of Bharat.

The lynxes, the wildcats, Pumas and other fraternities started complaining against each other loudly and together. The senior monkey pacified them and assured them that he will bring an equitable solution to the problem at hand. The senior monkey also mentioned that there will be a 10% fee because the problem is complex and the three monkeys will have to spend many days working out the solution. All cats, in the heat of their dislike for each other, agreed without a thought.

Thereafter, the senior monkey laid out his hypothesis,

1. It is not Mrs Lynx v/s Mrs Civet, it is a class struggle.
2. The recent fight is only a symptom of the underlying class inequalities and the frustration thereof.
3. We will like to redistribute the wealth in a way that it benefits all equally.
4. For this, all cats, without exception will have to submit all their wealth to us.
5. We will take 10% as our facilitation and distribute the rest to all cats equally.

So, all cats brought out their finery, furs, food and family jewels. The cats having no idea of counting and percentages, looked at as monkeys divided the cats’ hard earned assets with a logic that was beyond the clever cats. It went on like this,

One for the lynxes, 10% for me;  one for the bobcats, 10 % for me;  one for the civets, 10% for me.   And so it continued. The cats saw that they had equal parts now, but the monkeys had the biggest pile.

Puma, the city council chairman did make a feeble objection on the goings on, but the senior monkey told him, “You have elected to appoint us as purveyors of justice, now you are duty bound to keep quiet, whatever we do”

 And so it happened. The so called class struggle had its first resolution with the clever cats losing a large part of their assets and monkeys richer by a multiple.

Moral:  Social equity is best served by harmonious relations.  Arbiters and bad arithmetic can ruin you.

The Monkey King

Long long ago, Singham, the Lion King ruled the vast lands of Mahabharatam.  The king, like his powerful ancestors, had brought prosperity to his kingdom by a firm rule, care for the subjects and some substantial help from other worthies, the powerful elephant, the wise owl, the ever careful crow, the industrious bull and many others.  

     King’s general, the elephant, kept invaders at bay and would stamp out any trouble makers. Wise Owl, the Prime Minister, advised the king on worldly matters and administration.  The crow kept an eye on royal treasury. The bull kept the granaries full. And so many others helped with functions they could do well.

            However, things had been changing lately.  Firstly, there was an unprecedented population increase, and many upstarts like talking tortoises and musical donkeys would spread canards about almost everything. And then, there was this new thing called Democracy being mentioned.

            At first, it was some articulate monkeys that started suggesting a thing called elections. They said in the adjacent kingdoms, their relatives, the humans, are progressing just because of democratic system that bestows equality on all denizens. Soon, it was a clamor by the bears and deer that the king should be chosen and not be assumed because of ancestry.

            The Lion King heard the commotion, and having understood nothing much of the topics being discussed; and being at heart the well-wisher of the subjects of the kingdom, grunted the agreement to let the King be chosen by election.

            By consensus of the chatterers, Chaalbaz, the monkey was put up as the candidate against the Lion King.

            The King addressed the populace as a flag bearer of a long line of able kings, who had brought prosperity and good order to the general populace.

            Chaalbaz, in comparison, made many strange promises,

1. All denizens will have equal rights and no one will be unduly suppressed by the more powerful.
2. No hunting allowed. The lions and tigers eat grass. The deer and cows can graze happily hereafter.
3. ‘Dens for lions only and open sky for grass eaters’ policy scrapped.  There will be allotment of dens in alphabetic order.
4. All royal treasuries will be distributed amongst all. Poor animals will be given Kings Grant and special privileges to come out of poverty.

To the Lion King’s dismay, Chaalbaz the monkey was elected King in the ensuing elections, as the large number of grass eaters, seeking equality, voted for him.

On assuming King’s throne, Chaalbaz decided to consolidate his position before getting down to fulfilling election promises. The new King issued the following orders,

1. Singham banished to jungle. The throne and treasury occupied by monkey forces.
2. The squirrels directed to collect juiciest nuts for Chaalbaz and family.
3. The honey bees ordered to supply the royal monkey family half of all the honey collected.
4. Deer and cows ordained to supply all vegetables and half the milk produce for monkey family.
5. The Fox assigned as the new commander of military, with direct control over all elephants and horses.

And the time went on. The monkey family soon developed the royal aura of being the elected Kings, with all trappings and good things that come with unbridled power. Denizens in general were no better than earlier. If at all, they were slogging more to provide for the ever increasing demands of a fast breeding royal monkey family. Any dissent from tigers, crows, elephants and owls were quickly put down as they were not the elected representatives.

In time, the first problem manifested itself. It was a mother jackal, which had recently been blessed with two young ones. The young jackals were safe in a small cave, but now a black panther wanted to get into the cave to have young jackals for his dinner. 

Mother jackal arrived panting and screaming, asking the monkey King to save her young from certain death. She begged the King that as she had voted for him, he should come to her rescue now. The monkey King comforted her, “Don’t worry. I am there”. And scratched his head and got busy with cracking the new clutch of walnuts just delivered by the royal squirrel courier.

Mother jackal was desperate, she cried “O Monkey king, do something immediately. There is no time to waste”

The monkey King put the nut cracker aside with great reluctance, got up, jumped up the royal tree, swung from a branch, scampered down, raced around a bush, gave a battle cry (trying to scare the black panther), came back and sat down on the throne.

Then with all the royal grace, he addressed the mother jackal,

“My dear loyal subject, I have done all the running around. Now rest is your fate.

  After all, I have no magic wand”

Moral :  

Democracy is a magic wand only as long as the king is not a monkey.